Today, I received an early morning telephone call from a doctor in India, who was contacted by a couple in distress, who had just found out that their baby was not genetically related to them. The doctor that they contacted for help, did not perform IVF, nor did she hire a surrogate on their behalf. This couple as well as the doctor had no idea that they will have to go through the adoption process, as they have already created a bond with the baby. I gave the doctor the telephone number as well as e-mail address of attorneys in India, who can help.
Many of you are not alone, and should try to connect with each other so that you all have moral support while you are in India, then get professional help once you return to your country of origin. When this happens to anyone, it is life altering. Many people lose their livelihood, as well as the relationship of their other partner when something this trying happens in life. When we started out on our journey to surrogacy in India, it was not a 2.3 billion dollar a year industry, so we were not aware of what was happening in the background. No amount of research will prepare you for this. If you are not involved in this business or if you do not know someone this has happened to, then you are not aware of the ramifications of this situation. This is something that is not blogged about nor talked about in the surrogacy community, for obvious reasons. For those of us, who have had children, and DNA testing was not required, it will leave us with questions unless we do DNA testing on our own, which we have now chose to do. Whatever the outcome is, I am certain for all of us, intended parents nothing will change. All of our children deserve an explanation as to how they arrived here whether they are genetically related or not. We have decided to contact our doctor, and demand that all sperm and embryo's be destroyed at this point, as we are finished creating our family. We do not want to have an inkling that there is another child born via our genetic material at all. This was something that was never on our mind previously. As we all know, you have no legal recourse in India, as surrogacy is unregulated.
Many of you are not alone, and should try to connect with each other so that you all have moral support while you are in India, then get professional help once you return to your country of origin. When this happens to anyone, it is life altering. Many people lose their livelihood, as well as the relationship of their other partner when something this trying happens in life. When we started out on our journey to surrogacy in India, it was not a 2.3 billion dollar a year industry, so we were not aware of what was happening in the background. No amount of research will prepare you for this. If you are not involved in this business or if you do not know someone this has happened to, then you are not aware of the ramifications of this situation. This is something that is not blogged about nor talked about in the surrogacy community, for obvious reasons. For those of us, who have had children, and DNA testing was not required, it will leave us with questions unless we do DNA testing on our own, which we have now chose to do. Whatever the outcome is, I am certain for all of us, intended parents nothing will change. All of our children deserve an explanation as to how they arrived here whether they are genetically related or not. We have decided to contact our doctor, and demand that all sperm and embryo's be destroyed at this point, as we are finished creating our family. We do not want to have an inkling that there is another child born via our genetic material at all. This was something that was never on our mind previously. As we all know, you have no legal recourse in India, as surrogacy is unregulated.
4 comments:
Heard about that story from a contact in, of all places, Japan. Word travels very fast indeed. If this hits the media, it will have very negative implications for the surrogacy model.
And how are you Missy? When are we doing martinis in Manhattan?
Happy New Year!
Jon
Hi Jon,
I will be looking forward to a Martini with you. I hope that some form of regulation is put in place asap. Let's hope that some of the clinics can reorganize and get it together before the media and women's organizations unleash on them.
There is a high probability that surrogacy for gays/singles might be banned completely given recent developments and notifications from the government. Some ambiguity in the actual language that was served so the clinics are seeking some clarity from the government on this. It is not looking good however.
And now, the death reported this evening of this poor girl who was victimized in Delhi, although unrelated to surrogacy the nation has been galvanized and this could have spillover effects. The surrogacy model has always been a tough sell to the Indian public, and that is putting it mildly.
The bottom line is these services are becoming harder to obtain and only with a guiding hand, like yours, would I dare recommend this option to anyone. You are doing a fabulous job keeping your clients immune from some of these crazy things that are happening.
If anyone else wishes to get on board, please join me! Surrogates as well as egg donors should be taken care of. I am currently working with a known attorney from the surrogacy world, who wanted nothing more to do with this business due to excessive fee's and the way surrogates in general have been treated.
People can have the family of their dreams in India, as well as other countries. You do not have to be bullied or lied to have your needs met.
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