Yesterday, Mark and I went meet my girlfriend for lunch at a popular spot in Columbia, Md. As soon as we walked into the door and saw my girlfriend she immediately reached out to hold Mark because she had not seen him in a couple of weeks. When we got to the counter for the young girl to take our order, she immediately asked my girlfriend who is 20 years older than me how old Mark was. My girlfriend pointed to me and said that I was his mother. The girls face behind the counter then took on a look of shock and awe. I really didn't realize until yesterday that when this happens, I begin to feel sullen inside. My friend who is a journalist just asked me a couple of weeks ago, if this was an issue at all for me, and I think then, I was trying to hold those feelings at bay. I don't want to wear a t-shirt that states, No, I'm not the nanny, No, I'm not the maid. YES I'M THE MOTHER!! I do realize that is is very unusual to see a black women, with an extremly fair skinned child. It is more acceptable to see a white women, with a black child, who may have come from Ethopia, and people know that the child is adopted. The plot line for the Ethopian child is easy to figure out whereas mine is not. However, I don't want to have to explain my story to strangers, nor feel agnst when I get outside of my doors.
I have to learn to put the same armour on for my son,that I have for my husband, who is white. Inside, my head the FU factor is permanently enshrined into my ceberal cortex as if it were part of my DNA. The reality is that I have had over 18 years to develop that, with Colin and only 7 months with Mark. My fair skinned son, with his hazel eyes, and two little bottom teeth is the love of my life. Amani, I finally understand what you were trying to say with your blog, sorry if I misjudged you.