For those of you who have followed our journey, Mark will be 5 on Tuesday and the twins will be 3 on December 20th. Mark is a genius according to us, Elle runs our home and Alec has an A personality. Well what does that say about us...for those of you who know us...you fill in the blanks.
I decided to write this post for many reasons. One a number of you always email me asking when will you post, and secondly due to the climate of surrogacy in India at this time. I really want to give a shout out to Dr. Patel because she always holds the mantle that eludes many when surrogacy in India is discussed. For those of us who have traveled this road I can say that we are tired of the voices that have never traveled our journey to talk about exploitation of surrogates yet have no idea how many intended parents or better known as IPs have been exploited. We do not ask for any one's sympathies because we all embark on this journey desperate and wholeheartedly hoping for a connection with the best of humanity.
Often I wonder to myself, what role do intended parents play in this story. Is it fair to ask the doctors to house the surrogates for 8-9 months? Are we paying the surrogates what the market will bare? Are the doctors truly exploiting the surrogates? I am concerned when people open business and facilitate and have never even had a surrogate anywhere in the world. The answer to these questions are a mixed bag.
I have openly stated that our surrogate was not housed for the entire period of time in Gujarat, because she did not need to be. We were fortunate enough to have had a surrogate who worked in the medical field in India. I personally do not feel that all surrogates need to be housed, although I do work with doctors who do feel that the should be housed. The problem comes into play if a doctor tells their intended parents that their surrogates are housed, when they are not. I have intended parents tell me that they have worked with doctors and did undercover work on their own only to find that their surrogate was not being housed, however they were charged for housing. If you are concerned about your surrogate not getting the payment that you think is fair then it is incumbent upon you to if at all possible to hand the surrogate extra funds privately.
What I know for sure is that there are good doctors in India that value what they do and love their job. I have cried with doctors who work tirelessly to do the best that they can because they will not tell a client that they have had yet another negative. Are there bad doctors in India? Yes just like anywhere else in the world, however it is more pronounced when it is not regulated. I am not saying anything that I have not already said before, the truth is that now more voices are finally seconding the realities of what I and others have been saying for years.
I am back from India, and I am already missing the warm weather. Surrogacy in India is still thriving and regulation is still on the plate. Many in the legal world, are not sure if the process will truly be regulated, or if the situation will be diluted. I was able to visit a number of surrogacy homes in Delhi, and it looks like a number of doctor's are stepping up to the plate, as far as clean and safe surrogate housing. While visiting one surrogate house, it was impressive to see the women with their children in tow. The doctor who ran that surrogate house said that the women feel better having the their children with them for the duration of the pregnancy. With that said, there is still a lot of concern especially from local groups in regards to the growing rates of surrogates who have died after giving birth.
According to embassy officials, intended parent's going to India for surrogacy still need to be as vigilant as possible when seeking out a doctor to help in the process of creating your family. A number of cases have come up where the intended parents DNA tests have came back negative, meaning one or both of the intended parent's DNA did not match that of their baby or babies. If this does come up, you will be required to adopt your baby and that process in India takes about 6 months.
Surrogacy in India, is still a good option for many people. Intended parent's should talk to other's who have gone through the process if they are able to, before you begin your journey to parenthood.
After reading this article, I realized that the reporter has never had a child born via a surrogate in India. The article was clearly biased as well as the photo's of the surrogates sitting on the floor watching TV. I'm sure the day that the photo's were taken, it was over 115 degrees in Anand, and all you wish to do is sit on the floor. The surrogates in Gujarat, come from poor villages all over Ahmadabad, and they often line up throughout the week and do whatever they have to so that they can be egg donor's or surrogates. This does not just happen with Dr. Patel's clinic in Anand, but other clinics in the state of Gujarat as well. Reporter's need to understand that generally women in India who become surrogates are desperate for money, either to take care of their children, or to build a home or sadly to pay off their husbands gambling debts.
The surrogates do look at carrying intended parents as a business arrangement, why should they look at it any other way? Whatever spin people wish to place on this subject, it is what is is. Intended parents pay money for a woman to carry their child, and the surrogate is paid for her services. Sadly, many doctors in India do not pay them a reasonable rate, but there are doctor's in India who do the right thing. No one is doing this for altruistic reasons, lets be clear.
Here is the Article---------------------------------------
"Renting our wombs is just a job": Inside the baby factories where poor
Indian women are paid £5k to be 'vessels' for rich Westerners
As many as 2,000 surrogacy births for women overseas were recorded in India’s 1,000 so-called baby factories last year
Rent-a-womb: Surrogate mothers live in dorms to earn lump sums of cash
Shariq Allaqaband / Cover Asia Press
Pregnant women in India are living in grim dormitories away from
their families to have babies for wealthy couples, a Sunday Mirror
investigation reveals.
As many as 2,000 surrogacy births for women overseas were recorded in India’s 1,000 so-called baby factories last year.
News
of the shocking scale of the industry comes as a British couple have
admitted they are paying £20,000 for an Indian surrogate to have a
child.
Dominic and Octavia Orchard provoked fury by insisting they
weren’t interested in the background of the poor woman carrying their
baby, saying she was “just a vessel”.
Oxfordshire housewife
Octavia, who has a three-year-old son Orlando, said: “Her womb is just
the receptacle in which it is being carried. Perhaps it sounds cold and
rather clinical, but this is a business transaction.
“Her function
is to sustain the foetus we have created. I’m not interested in her
background. I don’t want to be part of her life.” Cold: The women watch TV on a tiled floor
Shariq Allaqaband / Cover Asia Press
The Akanksha Infertility Clinic in Anand, Gujarat can host 60 surrogates at a time.
The
mothers and staff do all they can to make sure the babies are strong
and healthy, ready to be taken away at birth and delivered to the
foreign parents.
Couples from countries including the UK, US,
Australia and Canada take advantage of India’s surrogacy industry, which
gives strong legal guarantees to the paying parents-to-be.
Some couples need an egg donor, others just need a womb.
With
fees between £14,000 and £20,000, it is certain the couples enjoy a
lifestyle a million miles from the women who make their dreams come
true.
The surrogates receive £3,000 to £5,000, giving them a chance to buy a house and send their existing children to a good school. Industry: Akanksha Fertility Clinic
Shariq Allaqaband / Cover Asia Press
Many Indian women become surrogates up to three times – the
limit under Indian law, leaving their families for up to nine months at a
time.
But no matter how desperate and emotionally painful being
surrogate might be, the women involved see it as a job. Parvati Lal
Bahadur Yep, 30, is eight months pregnant with twins. It’s her first
time as a surrogate.
“My husband earns 7,000 rupees a month (£80) as a driver and it’s hard buying food to feed our three children,” she explains.
“So
when my neighbour told me about earning a huge amount of money as a
surrogate I contacted an agent who put me in touch with a clinic.
“I have my family, my three beautiful children, I don’t want any more so I’m not getting attached to these babies.
“I
am helping a woman fulfill her dreams while she is helping me provide a
better life for my own children. It works both ways.” Surrogate: Parvati Lal Bahadur
Shariq Allaqaband / Cover Asia Press
Parvati is carrying for a couple in South Africa and they
have met once. No one other than Parvati’s husband and mother know about
the pregnancy.
She says: “I have no doubts about doing this and
cannot wait to have the £4,500 I will earn in my hand, but I would
rather keep it private. I don’t want people to think badly of me.”The
surrogate houses where the women live for nine months are split into
dorms with areas to watch television, cook, sew and chat.
They’re
allowed visitors only on a Sunday. British mum in waiting Octavia said
this week: “We did not want to see her quarters. By Indian standards
they would be comfortable. By ours, they would not be considered
remotely homely.”
But as long as wealthy women struggle to conceive, there will be others in India poor enough to rent out their wombs.
--This story is the reason why I preach to intended parents, that they only work with doctors that have a proven track record, and that they have staff or a facilitator to help you through the process---
Green with her baby after passport authorities returned the infant to her. Picture by G Vijayalakshmi
Hyderabad, Jan. 28: An American abandoned her seven-week-old son, born of a surrogate Indian mother, on a bench at the regional passport office here after being refused an Indian passport for the baby so she could take him home.
It was all apparently caused by a misunderstanding, however, and has led to a happy ending.
J. Pearl Linda Van Buren Green, a 35-year-old New Yorker, had not been clearly told that her son, Emperor Kaioyus Van Buren Green, didn't need a passport to leave India.
She later explained she had acted in frustration after spending thousands of dollars over many months in her pursuit of a surrogate baby.Police have decided not to press charges of abandonment, which could have brought Green a jail term of up to three years.
Yesterday, Green was told the foreign ministry had decided to issue an identity certificate for the baby that would act as his travel documents. However, his father Eric Dalton Green, based in Jamaica and a citizen of that country, must first send a letter endorsing his wife's application for the certificate.
Green had arrived in India with seven samples of her husband's semen. After failed efforts in Mumbai and Goa, she came to Hyderabad about 18 months ago. At a fertility clinic here, the child was conceived with eggs donated by a lady from Rajahmundry.
Another local lady acted as the surrogate mother, delivering the child on December 7. Green then applied for a passport for the baby on the Tatkal route.
On Wednesday, she got frustrated when, after a two-hour wait at the passport office and an hour's verification process, she was told the passport could not be issued as the baby was not Indian.
The incident reflects the plight of foreigner couples who have surrogate children in India but whose own countries, lacking surrogacy laws, refuse passports to the babies. After two such children, born to Japanese and German couples, faced such problems in 2008 and 2009, the Supreme Court had shown the way out by directing they be issued identity certificates.
Green was apparently not told about this. After she walked out in a huff, the passport authorities found the baby on a bench in the office waiting room. They went through CCTV footage to ascertain what had happened. From Green's application, they identified the fertility clinic, which gave them the American’s local phone number.
We have asked Ms Van Buren Green to submit an application for an identity certificate for the baby,” regional passport officer K. Srikar Reddy said. I wish things would be cleared soon,” Green told reporters yesterday, adding that she could not afford to stay any longer in Hyderabad because of financial constraints.
Surrogacy has become a big business in Hyderabad and its neighbourhood, causing fertility centres to mushroom over the past five years. Many women from Andhra Pradesh’s drought-hit districts choose to become surrogate mothers to earn a few extra bucks for their impoverished families.
“We get reports of at least 50 to 100 such births in a month,” the state health secretary said. Only about five per cent of the parents are foreigners. “Most of the clients are women from well-to-do Indian families who want to avoid childbirth so that their lifestyle, or body shape, is not affected,” said Srinivas Prasad, a doctor at one of the city’s top 15 fertility centres.
A fertility expert said his centre had a list of “nearly 400 surrogate mothers” who could be contacted at short notice. “We charge about Rs 3-5 lakh per case,” he added. A surrogate mother receives between Rs 75,000 and Rs 1 lakh besides the cost of medicine and maternity expenses.
The same lady is not usually allowed more than three surrogate births but there has been one instance of one lady giving birth to five surrogate children.
Now that Mark is nearing 3 years old, it appears the simplest comment can take you down a long road you didn't intend. While looking at the computer today Dad searched "robot" and mentioned casually that you can buy robots.
On the way to the toy store, Dad mentioned the name - Toys R Us - and Mark said "We aren't toys!" Dad said, "I like that! You're right! Give me a high five".
The store had moved, so they got out of the car in the parking lot of the old location to ask directions to the new location. After a passer-by gave them directions, Dad put Mark back in the car. Not understanding both would get in to drive to the new store, Mark started to cry. "I'm going to miss you!" he said. In a few seconds Dad figured out what Mark was thinking and said, "Mark, I would never leave you in the car!"
In the checkout at the new location after agreeing to the cheapest robot - just $10 - Mark spied a plastic rocket on a string. The 2 cent rocket was attached to a Toy Story flashlight. "I want the rocket!", he said, and stuck to that decision even after being told it would mean no robot today. That 2 cent plastic rocket sealed the sale of a 50 cent flashlight for the incredible price of $8.57.
The Happy Meal ploy - a cheap toy to force the parent's hand - had worked. Apart from that, it was a perfect outing.
