Mark Is One!

It seems like forever since I have blogged and Mark turned one on October 15th. We had a great birthday party for him last week-end, although he had no clue about what was happening around him. He had a year of many firsts, such as going to the West Wing of the White House, being a model in a Nordstom's show and flying to the West Coast at four months old. And tonight he was a dalmation puppy for Halloween. with that said this morning I opened a letter from India and it was a birthday card from his surrogate, Nayna, and her family. I would have never thought that it would have been an emotional moment. It felt like an internal game of tug of war. When one doesn't return letters or take the telephone calls from the all the while sensing her emotional and financial pain. The burden seems to much for me to bear.

I'm headed back to India in November, a place that I dread yet love at the same time. The culture shocks me, yet I feel awed at the human condition. Beth and I will be attending Dr. Patel's daughter's wedding in Anand, then head to Deli,agra and Jaipur. In my quiet moments, I know that Nayna and I will meet. How do I prepare myself for her that meeting?

THIRD WORLD COUNTRIES AND SURROGACY

Most people know who have read my posts know that our son Mark was born in India. In my quiet moments, I ask myself if I knew then what I know now, would I have gone to India. Honestly, I don't think I would have, I just would have been too afraid. The realities of surrogacy are the following: some clinics use prositutes as I have been informed by a prominent agency, some where the doctors are not doctors at all, but hairdressers, some clinics who do not synchronize the egg donor with the surrogate, surrogates extorting intended parents, clinics not being honest about pricing, surrogates aborting embroyos early in the pregnancy, surrogates who did not take the meds correctly before the transplant, lost sperm, and the list goes on. No one particular clinic is at fault, as no human being is able to police all of this activity, but the buyer must beware.

I would advise anyone to do as much research as you can on whatever clinic you choose, should you need the services of a third world country. The process is not an easy one and should not be entered lightly. If someone tells you that it is easy, run!! Most of us have had many sleepless nights and are filled with anxiety when doing business with someone who is thousands of miles away. With that said, all things are possible and many, many people have children in third world countries but you MUST, find someone who has already gone through the process, and let them guide you to ask the right questions of the clinic that you wish to do business with.

We are still in the process of deciding what is the best way for us to get a sibling for Mark, as we had a negative in July. As the late M. Scott Peck said.
"Life is difficult. This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths. It is a great truth because once we truly see this truth, we transcend it. Once we truly know that life is difficult - once we truly understand and accept it - then life is no longer difficult. Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters."

Do you want new fonts like mine?

I found a web site that has fonts you can install for titles and dates on your blog. I installed one called "milk". Here is how you do it (using whatever font you like):

1. Go to this tutorial for installing a font on KevinAndAmanda.com
2. Follow the very clear directions on the tutorial.

Expect to do uploads, downloads, make a site on webs.com and paste HTML into your blog's template. It's all very round-about, but it works. If you have trouble, just ask me to get Colin to help!

Autralian Immigration Procedures for Surrogate Babies Born in India

We heard from Millie and Terie, Autralian clients of Dr. Patel in Anand, Gujarat, India. From their experience getting a newborn surrogate baby from Dr. Patel's clinic, they have provided a PDF file that I would like to attach to this post. This file explains procedures for getting surrogate babies from India to Austrtalia.

However, only cool multimedia things like videos can be attached to a blog. At least that is what I read on a forum: "You can only upload video and images to blog. There is no ftp or Public_html folder".

So if you want the information about getting babies from India to Australia, please contact me directly: crystaldt@gmail.com.

I'm still an embryo. With a long long way to go

We will have our answer by July 9th!

CHANGE OF PLANS!

Najla and I awoke to an e-mail this morning from Dr. Patel, explaining that she did not like the look of the eggs of Najla's donor. Lucky for us Dr. Patel keeps extra egg donor's and surrogates ready for events such as these. After several telephone calls back and forth to Najla, then Najla to India, it looks like next week, the retrival will take place.

To my surprise we also have a new egg donor, and it appears to be the same egg donor that we had before. Najla and I are trying to schedule everything togather, because our plan is to travel to India togather with our families, and tour Southern India.

A NEW JOURNEY!

Tonight while Najla's family and my family are tucked in bed safely asleep, two women in India will have their eggs removed, for the benefit of our families. This week, has been one of a lot of uncertainties along with a certain amount of stress, even though we are thousands of miles away. What happens if our surrogates end up with twins? Will either one of us reduce? Are the surrogates strong enough and healthy enough to carry our babies? What do our donor's look like? I have already switched out the surrogate, because I was uncomfortable with her weight of 88 pounds. In India most of the women are small and that is what they weigh, and they are able to carry twins without significant problems. The intresting part of all of this for me, is that I didn't even think about all of these questions when we went to India the first time. We were going to use the same donor as Mark, but it didn't work out, and Dr. Patel has a darker donor. At first I couldn't understand why, then it was brought to my attention that she was trying to look out for my emotional needs.

I remember sitting down with Dr. Hitesh Patel, asking him if he knew how the donor's or the surrogates felt about surrogracy. He said that most of the people do not think that much about things, they live for today, and have to figure out how they will get money to survive. Most are not even able to envision getting seven thousand dollars. We would have to try and put ourselves in their shoes, most do not even have a tv, and the majority have less than a high school education. The Patel's have set up a charity, that is for the children of the egg donor's as well as the surrogates, and it is to help educate the children. When intended parent's go to Anand, if it the charity event is planned, Dr. Patel usually solicits everyones help.

The implant takes place in a few days, and we will get an email telling us the quality of the eggs, along with a video of the eggs. Then its the two week wait......................................................